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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Access

This may be perceived by some to be off my usual topics of theatre, books, movies, and music, but, you know what? It's my blog.

Handicapped parking spaces are not "I'm only going to be in there for a few minutes" spaces. They are also not "Gee, there are no other close spaces" spaces. They are definitely not "Well, until the snow gets cleared away, I guess it will be alright if I park here" spaces. They are specifically designated for drivers and passengers with mobility issues. If you're not one of these people, park further away and walk. It will be good for you. (You should consider parking a little further away from the food court even if there are closer spaces anyway, tubby.)
If you are driving in your grandmother's car, and she has a handicapped parking permit, you are more than welcome to park in a handicapped space . . . if your grandmother is with you, Skippy! Otherwise, put the placard in the glove box and leave the space for someone who needs it!

Those nifty big blue buttons outside of buildings that open the doors automatically are sure neat, aren't they? News flash! The stick figure on the button isn't sitting in a La-Z-Boy! Those automatic doors are electrical and mechanical. The more they get used, the more they get worn. The more they get worn, the sooner they break. Now imagine the person who really needs that button coming up and finding it broken, because 200 able-bodied people hit that button today, too lazy to reach out and pull the door open manually.

Is this really who we are as a society? Are we actually this selfish and self-absorbed? Do I need to start carrying my big stick again? I will, you know. (I like the "thump" sound it makes when it hits a hollow cranium.)

You want to keep wearing out the access doors and keep taking up handicapped spaces for your own selfish convenience? Fine. Just remember to keep looking over your shoulder . . .

Clear enough?

By the way, if I haven't mentioned it before, one of my conditions for recommending a show on my blog is that the theatre space must be wheelchair accessible for the audience, at least. I mean real access, not "well, they can sit here in the hallway and look in" or "we'll be happy to carry them down (or up) the stairs." If your theatre doesn't have feasible, dignified wheelchair access, I may come see your show, but I won't write about it.

My blog. My rules.

1 comment:

Erica said...

Bravo, Brady! I feel the same way about the parking spaces and the parking placards. You'll be glad to know I had a run-in with a "hollow-craniumed" individual. When I pointed out he was parked in such a space, he looked at me and said, "Yeah. So?" and went into the store. I promptly pulled out my digital camera and took some nice pictures of his car, license plate, and him getting into the car. It was an added bonus that one of my pix showed the handicapped sign on the wall and the painted symbol sticking out from under his back bumper. I drove right over to the Broomfield Police station and made a report. Maybe next time he'll think about what he's doing instead of yelling at me, "Get a life!" as he speeds out of the parking lot!