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Saturday, October 2, 2010

Save the World Saturday: Talk

Confession time.
I get depressed. I get depressed a lot. I feel like most people I know don't get me. Consequently, I don't have a whole lot of friends. According to Facebook I have hundreds, but how many of them would actually help me move, right? Okay, bad joke, but I don't really have a whole lot of really significant connections in my life.
Also, this is what I look like.
I haven't found that "someone" that we're all supposed to be looking for in life. I haven't even come close. I've made some unfortunate choices in this area, and I've become pretty jaded about relationships as a result.
I get pretty lonely sometimes.
I don't get along particularly well with my family.
I haven't made the waves in my career that I'd hoped to, and, in the last few years, I feel like I've moved backward more than I've moved forward. I find it really difficult sometimes to be at all optimistic about my future.
I don't even know if all that many people even still read this blog anymore.
I've "looked into the void" a few times. I've thought about "taking the bus" at some of the low points in my life.
But I didn't. I'm still here. Why?
Well, I'm still here because I have come to realize that even the darkest, loneliest, broke-as-hell, let's-just-be-friends, nobody-gets-me, going nowhere, disappointment-to-my-parents, no friends, can't-trust-anyone, hate-my-job, hate-my-life, hate-myself day is preferable to oblivion. This may be one of the lowest points in my life so far, but, then, I thought that other time was the lowest point in my life, and it eventually got better. I may not have much, but as long as I'm still on the top-side of the soil, I've still got possibility in my corner. And if this is as good as it gets, it's still life. I'm not going to get into a religious debate here, but whatever's in the after-life, it's meant for "after life." Not in the middle of it.
I cope. I write a smart-assed blog. I watch movies. I watch baby animal videos on the internet. I hang out with the friends I've got whenever I can. I read. I go for walks. I drive around and listen to the Mills Brothers in my car. I nurture my optimism and my hope, and I get by.
If you're out there reading this and thinking that it's still too hard, then you should talk to somebody. Can't think of anyone? Here, call this number:
1-800-273-8255 (TALK)
But talk to someone. You are not alone. You are never alone. It gets better. Even if the circumstances don't change, we get better at dealing with them. We adapt. We grow. It's what we do. Stay here. Stay with us. Talk to someone. Stick around. I'm trying to save the world, and, frankly, I can use all the help I can get.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

1 comment:

Jeff C. said...

Bravo, bravo. No matter how low things get, no matter how many friends will never help you move, there's always possibility. And there's always a change in season just around the corner.